Step 1. Check email.
Step 2. Fill your Pepe LePeu mug full of cheap tea (caffeinated) from the break room.
Step 3. Pinch the dead skin on you lips between your front teeth until it tears a little and you start to bleed.
Step 4. Look at your empty in-box, expecting something.
Step 8. Walk slowly to the bathroom to shit and piss.
Step 5. Read about celebrities on the internet.
Step 6. Hang your head in shame for reading about celebrities on the internet.
Step 7. Fill your Pepe LePeu mug full of cheap tea (decaffeinated) from the break room.
Step 6. Look around to see if anyone within eyeshot is not working so you can have some sort of communication outside the virtual world.
Step 3. Walk slowly to the bathroom to piss.
Step 7. Thoroughly clean the inside of you nose.
Step 1. Check email.
Step 8. Open up the document entitled “Personal” where you keep a rough draft of a movie script you are writing about office life.
Step 9. Look at the clock on the computer and calculate how many hours you should wait to have lunch so you can space out the rest of the day in a tolerable fashion.
Step 1. Check email.
Step 29. Step 7. Fill your Pepe LePeu mug full of cheap tea (decaffeinated) from the break room.
Step 10. Take birth control
Step 11. Mentally formulate a confrontation between the screeching troll-woman who works in accounting and yourself in which you break a plastic fork twisting her uvula like a piece of spaghetti.
Step 1. Check email.
Step 3. Walk slowly to the bathroom to piss.